2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
