Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
