I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
pray to the hookup gods
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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