i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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