theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
