she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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