well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
