You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
last night I used snow as a chaser
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
