I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
