Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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