i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
