Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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