There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
