Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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