There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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