who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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