Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
