High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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