? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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