would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
