hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
