This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
