gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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