Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
