The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
