I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
