Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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