It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
