i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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