Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
