Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
