I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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