I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
