he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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