no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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