from now on my penis is your penis
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As shirtless as possible
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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