You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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