I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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