you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
