I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
