According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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