i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
