i just google imaged poop.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
