Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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