yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
