Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He did a backflip because drugs
I had to cum in my sink.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
