how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
