pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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