can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
