I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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